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beautiful surprise

November 2009

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Nov. 16th, 2009

descending darkness

Am I cruel to think so?

Went to visit Ko and in a word, it was disheartening.

I ain't sure if it's just the going getting too dreary for me or I am really cruel but a thought came to my mind. I wonder, if Ko had a voice would he tell me the same. That he does not have to be away from human affection. That he does not have to have scratches on his eyes, nose or ears. That he can have a home. Unlike his mummy.

Am probably thinking too much but I know I ain't myself if I don't wonder on all these.

Nov. 11th, 2009

mother and kitten

Water gun.

The power of being able to protect your loved ones is a wonderful feeling.

Although my tonsils are killing me for the past few days, I'd just wanna express how great a feeling it is to enter Ko's new cage with a water gun. It was fun to see that nobody dared bully my dear cat anymore. (Although I was too late and he was already scratched when I reached there)

Go, water gun!

Nov. 2nd, 2009

communication

Like me

Like me, Ko is overcome by grief. He must be thinking I have abandoned him in that place.

He must be so stressed that he could only fall asleep when I'm near him. He doesn't like this new cage and neither do I. But it's not like we have a choice. He must be thinking I don't want him anymore.

Oct. 29th, 2009

girl and the flowers

Hallow Halloween

The postings do happen more frequently nowadays. But I can't switch my mind off. It's going to be Halloween in a 3 days, time to say hi to the shadier side of you

Here's a song for you too


It's nice right? Spooky and sweet, made of a rare combination. Managed to complete Jigoku Shoujo Futakomori yesterday while taking a slack at work there wasn't any briefs for the late noon. And I am not sure why people find said anime, or Emma Ai scary. Sure, when my boy used the song above as a wake-up call for me at 6am I spooked out, but after awhile you start noticing the beautiful chords and the simple beauty of the rhythm. In the end, I did wake up promptly.

I am recommending Jigoku Shoujo or 地獄少女 simply because it has one of the strongest impact among many animes.

"When one person is cursed, two graves are being dug"

Emma Ai's the gatekeeper for the cursed souls that are destined for only one place - hell. Whenever someone wishes to seek revenge, they access Hotline to Hell, the elusive site that only works at midnight. There, they enter the name of the soul they wish to curse in hell. Upon meeting Ai, they are given a straw doll that allows them to decide the exact moment of revenge. Ai goes on to explain the underside of this act, that when one curses another, he/she will be brought to hell too when they die. And they will be marked for that matter. Ai disappears, leaving the contractor to decide the outcome...

Why? )

Oct. 27th, 2009

beautiful surprise

想家。


Oct. 26th, 2009

beautiful surprise

Tired.

Ideally, I seem to have finished most of the stuff planned for October. Other personal errands like paying bills and buying that shoe seemed delayed but I guess I'd make time now pay is in!

Woohoo. So tired. I can't be bothered to debate with myself whether I should put the following content under a LJ cut.

You would think that a 20 plus year old kiddo will know their responsibility, especially when they are in a renowned school and in a reputed course that does not give away degrees but requires one to earn it. But no. They don't know that. And you know what, they disgraced the entire Uni cohort in one day. Unbelievable.

Because seriously, how can you not be a jerk when you leave the school's video camera standing on a box on the staircase unattended for an hour? In their words, it's "just an XL2, no big deal". Yeah, I'm sure it only costs like thousands and you can pay it  yourself judging by the tone of your voice. But is that what a camera man should believe in? Bullshit. And that's just the tip of the ice-berg. Everybody there thinks they are THE DIRECTOR and thus can just order someone else to do their job for them. Or heck their job.

You know what was the first lesson I learned in POLY? Yes, POLY, what many deem as "just a poly student" - thank goodness I was never one of the many! The first lesson is, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A DIRECTOR FOR EVERY PROJECT so it is important that you know what a lighting or sound or post production crew does to be of use to your team. Obviously I prefer to be just a poly student and adhere to that rule.

I'm generally fine with the University, that's not the fight that I'm picking. The fight is, I'm paying tax money to sick twits that perch the school's camera on the staircase, supported by a box and leaves for lunch and have it unattended for an hour.

Seeing is believing right? Photograph attached below for your reference.



I would have taken a shot from the bottom of the stairs if my instincts didn't tell me that walking near that trap could prove fatal. Meaning, they would love to blame me if shit befalls on the poor camera.

Oct. 15th, 2009

beautiful surprise

Note to remind self of dates and things to do:

B'cos I'm saving paper along with many 'be greener' stuff I'm trying to do, I'm putting this on digital instead of being tempted to buy a organizer!

Important Dates:

16th Oct, Fri - Meeting Yao
17th Oct Sat - Visiting Ko the cat and treating his skin problems
                       - preparing for the next day
18th Oct Sun - Wedding Dinner
20th Oct Tue - Dateline for many work stuff before I go on leave the next day
21st Oct Wed - Slacking at Home / Shopping
23rd Oct Fri - Outing with boy's pals
24th Oct Sat - Visiting Ko / Ting's 21st Celebration
25th Oct Sun - Helping out at Yao's production

Ohwell.

Oct. 12th, 2009

whyyyyyyyyyyyy

Nightmares from Pasithea

Darkened hours destined in solitude,
No warmth lingers in Night's cloak
You have outlived Eternity and now,
You're never going to leave our side
... )

And they ask why I fear you, Pasithea
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Oct. 8th, 2009

rainymood

Rain, just go away

Last visit, Ko was still having a flu and had a scratched nose probably due to constant irritation.

He caught a cold due to the ever changing weather. Now, whenever it rains, my heart sinks even lower.

Oct. 2nd, 2009

content

I love a cat in a box!







No I am not being sadistic. 丸“すぱ”猫です!

Sep. 28th, 2009

rainymood

Sometimes, I doubt if I can last through it all...

喜帖街 )
Fact: 喜帖街 was a street in Hong Kong, it is now demolished for newer establishments.
Thoughts: So sad, and true that life does have its ups and downs.


Sep. 21st, 2009

cat loving thing

Ko's 5th visit

Yesterday was the day of the week. It's the day of the week where boy always keep his promise and brings me to visit Ko at LCK. It's always a long ride, and filled with time and space to think about plenty. Like when would our family have a place of our own again and when would I be able to bring Ko back.

Last week was not a great visit. Upon seeing his dirt-caked fur and it standing by the gate pinning for me to bring him home, I lost it for like half an hour. So I knew what to expect this week, and went forward to the gates with a braver heart.

Ko has one new neighbor this week, a charcoal-black cat which is probably a female. Since the caretaker mentions that she usually houses maximum one male cat in each cage I reckon the other cats must be lady felines. And yes, I emphasize once more that Ko is a boy somewhat. The charcoal cat seem very defensive, always in a corner, at times it signals that she is on guard with her vocals. Cats like to talk, and this one was saying 'leave me alone' even as it closes it eyes for a nap. Very, very defensive. She seems to misunderstand that Ko meant no harm when he advanced towards the water plate which happened to be near her. So she snared for awhile, which Ko reacted to in a rather gentlemanly behavior. I must say I am impressed, that my less-than-courageous Ko took everything in his stride. He walked in, sensed the resentment and walked off only to rest in a distance, back-facing her. Then while she closes her eyes, he walks slightly closer again and repeats this several times until he reaches the water plate. Tough work, but Ko knows his manners. (Yes, I feel proud that the spoiled fur-ball would know such manners!)

Another cat from the next cage, presumably a tom cat, tried to pick a fight from Ko several times. Opposed to the charcoal feline's behavior, he wasn't merely vocal, but also used his paw. Such a gangster cat. Of cos mummy was unhappy! So I scared the other cat with a plastic bag (waved it towards him, which the sound of that always scares off cats) and it ran off hiding. For the rest of my visit, it hid in a corner while Ko ate his meal without a worry. I also fed other cats from the cages next door as they seemed to be quite fearful of that tom cat. They all vocalized their goodbyes when I left, which is kinda sweet.

Just as I left the cage to wash my hands and brush off the fur, I saw a new member strolling around. One look at its collar and its fluffy round face and I knew that this must be the new pet of the caretaker. It seems to like me immediately and begin circling my feet, which Ko saw and gave a really large meow. So I had to walk back and promise him once more that I'd be back in one week to wash him up and feed him. But it didn't go too well b'cos the little kitten tagged along and was looking at Ko with a jealous expression. Out of spite Ko ignored me, until I walked off waving bye.

There he stood by the gate again, looking at us and I imagine what goes through his sentimental mind.

Sep. 11th, 2009

beautiful surprise

四面楚歌 - excerpt

Kay:
谁滥用它提升换到共鸣
谁放大这悲剧的阴影
谁说愉快铃声没有共鸣
谁会用爱充实这繁荣

Kelvin:
谁在煽动痛楚 令人著魔
四面全是楚歌
怨恨太多 或快乐声线换到太少耳朵
谁愿抱著被窝 未求甚麼
当做娱乐抚摸
将眼泪浸没双城 景色壮观过烟火

合:
难道想哭的孤魂 能敌过最暗晚灯
难道攀不到青云 便在愁城自困
难道悲歌中呻吟 能换到发洩快感
难道忧鬱的口琴 魅力摇动内伤也甘心

Another song to learn! Fantastic :)
beautiful surprise

So many things can happen in a day

For example, you saw some white figure flash pass the rear-view mirror. You fail to draw cash at a couple of ATM machines. The train goes late. You receive news of someone had a heart attack and is in ICU. Then work piles on you more than it can ever pile. You hear the toilet door opening and closing even when there is no one. And there was no wind. Your computer plays tricks with you as you try and rush to the hospital. The internet plays tricks on you. The phone plays tricks on you. More drama.

Wow. And I find myself collected and calm as I try to remain unfazed by all. I'm getting better and better at it I tell you. It's going to become my super-power some day.

And it is true, pain does build up your mental strength the fastest you can ever expect.

Btw. My life is to slog at work.

Sep. 2nd, 2009

beautiful surprise

Icon makeover!

15 minutes ago, I've deleted all my icons and replaced them with adorable Honey and Clover icons, just to pledge my love for this Anime. teehee.

Chosen this icon because the world you live in forever spins so crazily, does it not! Like Madonna's 'friend' is called Jesus and half her age. Like the rain that falls when it's not even Monsoon season. Or the fact that it feels that ten years since I was a student.

Yes, like all things illustrated in Honey and Clover, the world never cease spinning. So we move along with it. Is that what it means about 'moving on' or does it call for a different act altogether?

Aug. 25th, 2009

beautiful surprise

The thoughts in your head brink on insanity at times!

很信命 不信有美好幸福过更冷清
同情没法把不安驱走 已是确定
原来避免输不起 退出的方法叫遗忘本性
不甘不忍不想 我只有越坐越静
我的快乐就像泡影

*一个自爱也好
 越对我好 越需要控制我反应
 对未来没信心 怎张开眼睛
 花花世界太过美 哪有我踪影
 怕有天放心後 才给我最爱抛弃
 我要紧守我座右铭*


- 吴雨霏 [ 座右铭 ]


Insanity tempts all to break loose.


(dui mui loi wan mo sun sam, zam jong hoi ang zeng)

Aug. 17th, 2009

beautiful surprise

Plan my life

My blood is boiling at 100 degrees, and my heart is below zero. All it takes is some f**ked up asshole to f**k up my Monday, painting it not blue but black. Now, like a person who has been slapped and seeing everything in a whole new point of view I make new plans for my ever-changing life.

IF I LOSE MORE THAN 5 PEOPLE CLOSEST TO MY HEART DUE TO HEALTH COMPLICATIONS -
I shall become a vegetarian

IF I GET SLAPPED AGAIN BY AN ASSHOLE -
I shall donate 10 books to Salvation Army

IF I LOSE MY DEAREST PET -
I'd fund a hundred bucks to an animal welfare organization every month, b'cos I failed to protect Ko

IF MY HOUSE GETS BURNED DOWN OR DESTROYED BY NATURAL DISASTERS -
I'd clean a close acquaintance house, just 'cos I wanna do it

IF ANYONE HURTS MY LOVED ONES BADLY (and breaks the law) -
They go to jail, I make sure of that

IF I LOSE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE -
I'd become a nun

IF I HURT THE ONE I LOVED, AND LEARNED ABOUT IT -
I'd do ten things that would make them happiest

IF I LOSE MY JOB (*touchwood*) -
I'd do non-profit work for one week

IF I DIE -
I want to be remembered as the girl who's heart was hardened by ugly human beings but tried to burn brighter with ways to help, not hate. And let her stone heart beat and breathe, bit by bit.

Aug. 14th, 2009

cat loving thing

full. stop.

"Can I throw away (ko's) bed? "

"Should we wash the scratch-board and bring it to him?"

The words from mama resounds in my head, again and again. Round and round. Until I visit Ko at the cat lodging home during weekends. And then, it hit me - my cat can't make phone calls. I can't ask how he is, if he has been eating and drinking like he usually does. Does he sleep? Does he feel abandoned? I pray not. With everything I have, I pray not.


Songs from The Cardigans are camouflaging into my thoughts. Beat by beat.

_______________________________________________________
but that's not an invitation!
that's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you, but I don't know
how to connect
so I disconnect  __________________________________________

Aug. 4th, 2009

heart-attack

Just keep movin'

痛不痛,始终都会发生。

隐聚隐散,始终不由得人选。

千百感触,刺刺不休。

但最重要的是愿意面对。

这个道理,不易悟但并非完全不合逻辑。

我也认了。。


走下去,比放弃难但更加有意义。


好运,我有好多好友好伴陪着我,有时扶持,有时加油打气,有时劝解,有时忍受。这生,不妄此行了!

我非常心领!所以,一定走下去!



P.s. Gin's picture seems especially appropriate for this entry, so do pardon the out-of-character behavior

Jul. 27th, 2009

beautiful surprise

Will it?

Am I going to give in to the temptation to rant?

Am I gonna lose it and start to reel?

Am I gonna lose all by giving up? Dang!

No. I shall not do it. Keep fighting, I said.
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